Saying No without the Guilt
Story by Lauree Ostrofsky, Simply Leap
Illustrated by Tatyana Starikova
Why do you say yes when you want to say no? I see it with my clients, and I’ve done it myself.
It often has to do with not wanting to disappoint people. Because then what will happen? In lightning speed, your brain plays out worst-case scenarios of missing out on other opportunities because you didn’t agree to this one; having an event not go as well because you didn’t do it yourself; or losing your friends altogether.
The trouble is, saying yes also involves putting someone else’s needs in front of your own. Not getting the things you need to accomplish off your own list. Telling yourself it won’t be that bad, or it won’t take that long—“I’ll just do it and get it over with.” It means expending time, energy and money you may not have to spare. Afterwards, you can feel depleted, exhausted. And though no one may have asked you to overextend yourself, there can be plenty of blame to go around.
It does not have to be this way. You can say no and feel good about your decision without worrying about repercussions. In fact, it may make everyone happier in the process.